This particular draft has been lying in wait for at least four months.
Last edited 4 months ago.
In a way this is a taunt. The backend of a blogging platform mocking me. Showing me how much, or how little, a piece of writing can matter. Showing me how quickly time can go by and we can still hammer on one thing we want to do “one day”.
A key component to the things we do, particularly our hobbies, is time. Without time you can’t to anything. If you’re constantly working then you’re out of luck. Somewhere in the mad dash from 9-5, dealing with life, etc-etc you need to squeeze off some time if you are looking to pursue a hobby.
For the moment, forget about why you want to pursue this hobby. Each person has their own why and the purpose of this isn’t to find your why.
Over the past month I have been in a state of discontent. I won’t lie here – I am just not happy with how my life is proceeding at the moment. I have some of the basics down – job, income. But that’s it. I have nothing challenging me. The job I work is routine. Mundane. And it also occupies large chunks of me time. Too much for me.
For me, or for any creative, the problem is the discontent I feel has spilled into my photography & writing. Photography & writing, or your chosen art / hobby isn’t a standalone component of life. It is part of your life.
So when unhappiness, sadness, boredom, lack of interest drifts into you life it often seeps in. In my case it has seeped into my photos. It is there when I want to go out and take photos. I think “I’m not really in mood this morning” although I haven’t been out with my camera for a proper photography outing in months.
I think “What is the point of this?” when I know what the point is. It isn’t about the accolades, subs, likes, shares, restacks. No. I’ve moved past it, mostly. It doesn’t bother me if no one likes me writing. It doesn’t bother me if no-one likes my photos. If all my work fades into obscurity and you never hear from me again it’s fine.
But it bothers me when I don’t enjoy photography. It bothers me when I cannot find something worthwhile to write about. Writing and photography two of the few things in my life which keeps me going. If I let go of them I give in to the grind. If I snuff out the flames for these two passions, what do I have left?
This morning I sat down, after thinking about this for days on end. This way or that way. What to do. Where to turn.
I need a reset. Start from zero.
A different approach to my life. Because the mindset I have now isn’t good. It’s negative. It is depressing. I look at all the negative shit before I think about all the upsides. This is not a manifesto. It is not a call to arms. Nothing like that.
It’s a man struggling with life. And choices. It’s a person finding themselves in a difficult situation. Uncertainty about the future. Not sure about what will happen in the next month or two or six. We all have these from time to time. No one lives a life without some form of turbulence.
Here’s where the reset aspect is coming in. Take a step away from the rush of my photography and writing. Create a routine which allows me to manage things better.
Focus on my mental health. Crucial. I’ve been depressed for a large part of my adult life and the feeling isn’t anything new. Yet as I grow older I understand how dangerous a depressed mind can be. Soon you find yourself caring about nothing – what then?
Physical health. The last time I visited a gym was in 2024. After I lost my job in January ’24 I cancelled my contract. I loved the gym. The improvement, the people I met, the escape it offered was a huge part of my life. For the first two months after no gym I felt lost. I have some dumbbells at home and I could probably do bodyweight exercises but I don’t always feel like doing it.
tl;dr
It isn’t easy to turn a hobby into a financially viable thing. And if you managed to do it, how long before it becomes just another job to do?
Not everyone who throws their hat into the ring succeeds.
Perhaps the idea of working as a photographer / writer is a bit far fetched. It’s definitely not for everyone. Life doesn’t always work out how we’d like it to. If you’re fortunate enough to be able to do this – congratulations. If you haven’t been able to do this, or perhaps you feel this isn’t the path for you it’s okay.
Do photography as a hobby. Write for yourself. Find something else which holds your interest. Find something which truly makes you feel alive. Take photos on the weekend and enjoy writing whenever you find time.
Thanks for reading : )